Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
