I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
