There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
