I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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