My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
