whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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