He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
