I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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