No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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