we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
