Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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