Michael Bay diarrhea
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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