so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
