True but thats because hes a fetus.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I didn't notice because vodka
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
