He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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