Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
