hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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