this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
