somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
