I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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