just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Farmville is her only friend.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
