Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
