We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
