Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i wish my penis had a tongue
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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