Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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