I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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