If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Randomize
