then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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