He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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