If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
