I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
