He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
