I think I died a long time ago.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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