Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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