NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
