one two three fourrrrnication!
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
you will always have a special place in my vag
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
