i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
