No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
