No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
