Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
