Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
