her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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