They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
