Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
