Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
