yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
