im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
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