Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
