We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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