yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
