We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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